No One Said It Would Be Like Surgery

No One Said It Would Be Like Surgery

these words aren't making sense,
you say you're on a picket fence,
what's your decision?
go ahead, make the incision
on this relationship,
all you have to say is
"this love was friendship"

these days keep rolling by,
i still can't look you in the eye,
i'm starting to think when you said friends
you really didn't want to mend
this patch like a pair of jeans,
and by all means
do as you please,
but when i say please all i really need is you with me

the life i live is like a song,
the chorus on repeat,
the verse explaining defeat,
this heartbreak turns to the bridge,
it all feels too rehearsed,
i can't keep track any longer,
my heart isn't any stronger

these days keep rolling by,
you still can't look me in the eye,
i'm starting to think when you said friends
you really didn't want to mend
this patch like a pair of jeans
and by all means
do as you please,
but please just stay away from me



hopefully more added soon,
actually, i'm sure there will be (:

GOODnight Kisses are for GOOD Kissers

you pull me close and touch my nose,
we both know we're about to kiss,
did you really just miss?

your teeth bump mine,
this should be considered a crime,
all i can think about is "what is the time?"
i feel as though i'm trapped near a land mine

i can't seem to take you seriously,
when up your nose is all i can see,
you want my digits to pick me up,
and i pray that you don't know time and temp

you open my car door and i climb out,
automatically your tongue is in my mouth,
i pull away but my lip seems to stay
and all i want to do is tell you goodnight kisses are too cliche

finally in the safety of my room,
i look out the window and to the moon,
i make a wish "please, please, please,
don't let me wake looking like a fish"

my lips are numb and my mind blank,
and i decide it's time for you to walk the plank.

Devilish

well, school released early to massive amounts of snowfall and very cold temperatures. i think i'll take a nap today. i need to study for finals. play auditions keep getting moved. i'm tired of always being stuck at home. i'm going to go write, i think, i'll edit this post and add the new stuff later (:


jettison, the act of throwing goods overboard when a craft is in distress; also, the goods thrown overboard OR to throw away or discard.

ie; Alexis decided to jettison the pictures when she realized that things won't be that way ever again.



DEVILISH

Seeing you with her
felt much like my own funeral,
the barrel to my back,
your finger on the trigger

It's not the worst ending for this scenario,
no, I'd want to be the first to go,
I'm watching you jump from this ledge,
you never risked this much for me

Seeing you struggle makes me feel this much worse,
Did I wish this upon you?
the barrel to your back,
my finger's on the trigger

It's almost devilish how I feel,
there is not regret in this spinning wheel,
these emotions are always changing,
love you, hate you,
can you please stop straining your words?

It's not the worst ending for this scenario,
you know I want to be the first to go,
I'm watching you fall from this ledge,
you've risked too much,
too much for her

my eyes are heavy with thoughts of you,
falling so fast,
things would have been different if you
weren't just my past,
these emotions are always changing,
you were never really straining

jealousy's teeth are tearing at my flesh,
I hear it's the deadliest of seven,
it's the worst ending for this scenario,
and now, I'm the last to go.

Real Eyes Realize Real Lies

This ghost of you is haunting me,
I'm done being what you wanted me to be
you're as shallow as a shower and that's never stopped you before
your ego's always growing
has anyone told you that's bad for your health?

Funny how I was wrapped around your finger,
too bad you were busy undressing me with your eyes,
sooner or later you'll realize,
you'll realize

You're making it worse with every word you say,
you're taking this world by storm,
no one wants to see this rain anymore

Funny how you've moved on so fast,
too bad everyone knows this one won't last,
sooner or later she'll realize,
those are real lies

Sure you're beautiful,
but beauty's only skin deep
what's that monster going to do when there's an open sore?

Funny how that guilt is hitting you so fast,
too bad it's too late to change the past,
later than sooner I realized,
I realized


this was something i wrote yesterday/today,
i hope you all like itt.

also, i've got an idea! from now on, to enlighten you all on new words or definitions of words you don't know i've decided to take the word of the day from dictionary.com
and todays is "fastidious" or hard to please (:

forgive me i'm trying to find my calling.

hey guys, just listening to some all time low and automatic loveletter as i write (:
today went a LITTLE better, but i realized i have SO much coming up: play auditions next week, the play starts before the end of the month. tennis conditioning. work opens in february. i get my license. i have finals. Dead in Denver is coming to rochester february 2. my birthday is the 31. and i have projects due. THEN a new semester, finallyy. i'm seriously stoked for this coming semester. i'm tired of my classes but i have a feeling i'm going to be REALLY overwhelmed when it comes, considering i have no study hall and three extracurricularss!

well, here i go, another writing (:

Winter Isn't My Favorite Season Anymore.

all that i do,
it's all been for you,
but are we ready for something new?
your smile's not the same,
and i feel that i'm to blame
has this winter weather
done something to make this love wither away?

i'm not as bitter as this wind,
i'll fight until the end,
i'm not as strong as you when it comes to this,
i'm not as strong,
will you carry me through this mess?
or is this just something we need to forget?

all that i do,
has it ever been good enough for you?
i guess it doesn't matter now,
does this really matter now?
the sun is setting on our perfect day,
can we go back to that day in may?
when everything was perfect?

i'm not as bitter as this wind,
i can't fight until the end,
i'm not as strong as you when it comes to this,
i'm not as strong,
will you carry me through this mess?
or is this just something we need to forget?

you're as bitter as the wind,
you won't fight until the end,
you're not strong anymore,
you're not strong,
you won't carry me through this mess,
and all you want to do is forget

it's just time for us to forget,
there's no time to forget,
just forget

hello, three thirty one a.m.

well, i'm going to start off by saying some things without really saying them directly. maybe, if you know me well enough, you know who you are.

1. you were a waste of my time.
2. you're pure as snow, you're pure as gold.
3. you under estimate your talent.
4. you deserve the moon, and i'd love to be the one to give it to you.
5. you make me so angry sometimes.
6. you just. can't. stop.

and now, i'm moving on to something i told my good friend emilie ( http://www.genuineperception.blogspot.com/ ) that i was going to do.

honestly, this is what i want. trust, laughter, honesty. maturity, immaturity. chemistry. someone to take the train to chicago with me, just to go. someone who is willing to argue with me when they know i'm being irrational. someone to take me ice skating and to get hot chocolate. someone to take me to the beach and for lemonade. someone to take me to acoustic shows. someone to take me to heavy shows. someone to drink coffee with. someone who gets 'me'. someone who is willing to put up with my complicated, too forgiving, impatient, doesn't know where to stop, too cautious, self. someone who knows not spending money on me is okay. someone to teach me to play guitar. someone i can be really goofy with. someone who will watch cartoons and csi shows with me. someone who will support me in my aspirations. someone who will tell me my writing is awful when it is. someone who will tease me. someone who will constantly quote songs and movies with me. someone who doesn't mind it when i don't get dressed up. someone to take care of me when i'm distraught, or just tired and sick. someone who isn't looking for love, or a relationship. someone who wants to be my bestfriend. is it the world i'm asking for?

and now, another song! i'm on a roll at three a.m. who knew?!


Hearts for Cards

Your cheshire cat grin grows
as you twist your way out of your clothes
now it's just you and me,
no boundaries, we're finally free

My lips tremble melting to yours,
this feeling is opening so many doors

We've lost track of time,
the city sleeps,
"is this what it feels like to fly?"
if so, i'm ready to play for keeps,
this love is much more than i bargained for,
but i think you're worth it

Your hand in mine just feels so right,
and when our eyes meet it's as if
there is nothing but clouds under my feet,
now it's just you and me,
no boundaries, we're finally free

We've lost track of time,
the city sleeps,
"is this what it feels like to fly?"
if so, i'm ready to play for keeps,
this love is much more than i bargained for,
but i know you're worth it,
i know you're worth it

Now it's just you and me,
and it seems as if we're really free,
flying freely


that's all for now, everyone.
i'm sure i'll update with SOMETHING, later.

goodnight,
please speak up if you've got something to say(:
much appreciated.

and one more thing(:

Am I The Diseased One Or Is It You?

His skin reflected the soft light,
somewhow we knew this was not right
i felt his eyes on me
and i lost all the envy i had ever felt toward her
this isn't what i wanted if it wasn't real

He smiled in my direction
and i cried because i knew this wasn't a winning situation

"If winning doesn't matter why would two hearts race?"
i asked, staring at his stone cold face
i reached out and he pulled away,
not like stone should.

His slow exhale tickled my neck,
like a spider,
creeping back to it's web,
nothing felt the way it had,
it seemed my luck waned down,
teasing me with what i once had

You had me caught up in your disease,
you said "eachother is all we need"
but now you've left me alone

"If winning doesn't matter,
why do our hearts race?"
I answer my own question,
because noone knows when it's time to let go,
and we both know that only one can win a race,
like a bird to a tree.
or a "you" to a "me"

hey(:

hello, everyone.
thankyou so much for reading this right now. last night i began to think about lyrics, and how much i incoporate music into my life already,
but somehow that wasn't good enough for me. so when i woke up this morning i grabbed my favorite blue ink pen and began writing down anything that came to my mind. and somehow it all seemed to go together. after that i just continued writing, and one song turned into two! i was surprised at how easily this seemed to come to me. i had tried writing before, but nothing turned into something this easily.
i'm not trying to put on that these "songs or poems" are great, but for me, it's a great start and that's all i'm looking for.
i have a few new years resolutions, and one of them was "write a song that Jamie (of Dead in Denver @ www.myspace.com/deadindenvermusic ) approves of, because i really dig his lyrics and he's one of my REALLY good friends." but i'm not only looking for approval or criticism from him, two more of my great friends Ryan Sprinkle ( check him out too, www.youtube.com/ryansprinklemusic ), and Zak Hussein ( of She'll Be Right By Your Side, www.myspace.com/shellberightbyyourside ) all have inspired me to begin writing. and i'm really looking forward to what they all have to say about these pieces that i've written.

but not only do i want to hear what they have to say, i want to hear what YOU have to say as well (:
so, with ALL of that said, here goes nothing!

Why Wouldn't I Want My Cake and Eat it Too?

You should know more,
than anyone else
that it was real,
everything that we felt,
but that wasn't good enough for you

You told me to keep my love,
save it for something that would satisfy this thirst
that i long for,
but what i'm longing for is you,
and that's when you said
"You can't have your cake and eat it too"

And that's when i knew,
more than anyone else
that it was you who did this to us
and i was never going to be good enough for you

You told me to keep my love,
save it for something that would satisfy this
hunger that grew deep inside of me,
but what i was starving for was you,
and that's when you said
"You can't have your cake and eat it too"

and then i realized,
you weren't my cake,
and i was never hungry for you.




A Fine Line

As we lay there,
my porcelain skin against yours,
all i could think was 'you're my wonderwall'
and 'i never want to feel alone again.'

All we have to do is live this dream,
but if we take it too far,
past the moon and to mars,
this dream will turn to dust

I held my breath as this love turned to something terrible,
you couldn't even call me beautiful,
and i wasn't your only one anymore

We tried to live our dream.
but we took it too far,
past the moon and to mars,
our dream didn't turn to dust,
and all that was left was the feeling of lust.


! well that's all i have for now,
i'm going to try and post something new as often as possible,
and i would LOVE for any comments and criticism on my work.
i hope you enjoyed this, because i've already enjoyed myself blogging this entry haha.
well,
i'm going to clean my basement and give my cat a bath :S

love,

alexis (: